Public Testimonies – Page 2

Testimony of Bill and Rebecca

GFA USA 2001-2002

Bill–Missions Department

Rebecca–Gift Entry

Rebecca and I got involved with GFA when I was pastor of Calvary Chapel in Thousand Oaks, California. David C. spoke many times at our church, and I -would see him and John B. at pastors’ retreats. My wife and I read KP’s books, and we became supporters of the ministry. Our church sponsored 100 missionaries and built several churches in India. I was even able to go to India and teach in several training centers and the seminary. We were very impressed with the work.

In 2001, we wanted to be even more involved in the ministry, so we applied to be on staff. We, of course, thought the ministry would reflect what was said in the books. That was what we were signing up for. We raised our support in less than three months, sold my wife’s dream house, and moved to Texas.

I went to work in the Missions office with Bob M. It was a perfect fit for me, and I loved working with Bob. It was a great opportunity to work with the new people coming through GFA. I became known as the ‘cookie man’ for my passing out Nutter Butters everyday. How Rebecca and I loved the people!

Soon we noticed that everything in Revolution in World Missions was not how things really worked. I was surprised that not everyone raised their support as the book said. I recall one couple who had been working to raise support for two years. Because they weren’t able to reach the amount needed, we were told they weren’t “called” to the ministry. Others who raised no support and were not really familiar with the ministry, were invited to come. I asked John about this. He said, “We need their particular skills.” I replied, “But that’s not what the book says. It says you trust God for the needs of the ministry. How can you tell if they’re called?”

The ministry seemed to be moving in a direction different from the the books. The vision was now bigger and anything was permissible, for the ends were what was important. They were raising money in ways the books seemed to condemn. I, thankfully, can’t remember all the things I struggled with. It was 13 years ago. I told David of my struggles, and he seemed to have the same concerns. That probably wasn’t the case.

In 2002, I went to John B. and told him that I was going to go back to pastoral ministry. I told him all the reasons I was unhappy. Next I met with KP. He suggested I start a Calvary Chapel In Carrollton. I told him I was going back to California. I asked him if I could work until our house sold. He told me I could. I thought we were good.

Monday morning John met me at the prayer meeting with a box. He told me to clean out my desk and leave. I told him what KP said. He said he hadn’t said that. I must have misunderstood what had been said. I really felt badly. I thought of KP as a leader in the field of missions, and he had just been less than honest.

It took two months for our house to sell. We told anyone we saw that we were going back to pastoral ministry. (We did have a job offer.) We didn’t want to hurt the ministry in any way. We only told one couple of our real struggles, and that only the day before we left.

Romans 8:28 I still believe that God had a purpose in allowing this in our lives. I don’t understand His ways, but we trust in His wisdom. As it turned out, I’ve never pastored again. We have yet to gain back what we gave up to go to GFA. I know many of you must feel the same way. I pray for you. God is faithful and is able to heal all the broken hearts of His people. Praise Him.

Testimony of Shelly

I served as the writing group leader in the Gospel for Asia U.S. office from 2006 – 2011. I am thankful the Lord allowed me to be part of this important work and I still support the ministry financially and with my prayers. Now that I’ve had to time to think about some of the things I was taught during my five years with GFA, it is with a heavy heart that I realized they were deceitful and manipulative.

My devotion to the ministry was severely tested when it became apparent that K.P. Yohannan had lied to his entire U.S. staff. The incident occurred at a meeting to announce that the ministry had fired two families who were maintaining inadequate monthly support to cover their salaries. K.P. explained that the ministry could not continue to spend $4,000 a month to cover their salaries and insurance. He assured the entire staff that ministry leaders had talked to the staffers and worked with them to help raise their monthly support level but it had not worked.

A few days later I was comforting one of the wives whose family was fired. Through tears she said the firing came as a complete surprise because no leaders had ever talked to them about their support. This wife had no way of knowing what K.P. had said about her family at the meeting so she was not trying to contradict him. I believe K.P. lied to his entire staff that day.

I also realized the ministry teaches a warped idea of spiritual authority in parent/child relationships. The Bible says “Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:2-3). Very often ministry leaders would teach that older teens should serve at the ministry in direct defiance of their parent’s wishes. These young adults (including the School of Discipleship students and summer interns) were told it would please God if they dropped out of school or left home against their parent’s advice in order to serve. When a teen or young adult is still receiving support from their parents, such as is the case with SOD and summer interns, the parents are still in authority over that young man or woman. Teaching that a ministry can usurp the authority of the parents is theologically incorrect.

One summer intern who lived with me came to me privately asking for advice on returning to college that fall. She had been taught that college was the sinful choice and serving at GFA was the only right thing to do.

Additionally, the leaders teach that we were to place our work at the ministry above the responsibility of any family not serving with us, including our aging parents. The Bible is clear that it is our responsibility to care for our elderly parents. I Timothy 5:4 says “But if a widow has children or grandchildren these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.” 1 Timothy 5:8 says “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” And Jesus himself, when he was on the cross, made arrangements for his mother to be cared for. This is our most important example. This teaching is always couched inside the call to “surrender all” to follow Christ. This is false teaching.

I pray that K.P. Yohannan will repent of lying and seek the Lord for healing of broken relationships.

I pray also that Gospel for Asia’s leaders will examine their own hearts and search the entire scripture and clearly teach what it says.

Testimony of Mary

USA 2004-2006

My story with GFA actually started 30 years earlier when I moved cross country to live with a group of dynamic Christians in a community setting. During my 7 years there, the group grew to 125 and was largely comprised of young people who came to know the Lord as a result of outreach. The leader of the group was a physically large man, chronologically older than most everyone and older in the Lord than most. Over the course of my time there I learned more about what the Bible says through teachings and gradually read my Bible less and less, as I unconsciously thought I was being spiritually fed.

I observed that none of the younger people (I was slightly older) were marrying, none of the married couples were having children and every married couple that left the group divorced. Our living arrangements changed over the years from communal housing to individual (read: isolated) apartments. We were disciplined verbally in corporate meetings, fear was instilled; and when anyone left the group, they were shunned. We were not to have friends outside the group and were to ignore or cut off family and relatives, as they were distractions from building God’s kingdom (their way). One day the Lord said to me, “This group is a cult and you are a cult member.” “I’m outta there!!” I said. I knew what was coming: Shunning. And they were the only people I knew at that point. Talk about isolation! I learned later that the leader had books on mind control and group control in his library and had a family history of psychological troubles.

Most who left the group, left the Lord. God was merciful to me, and I never did, but I was so afraid He would never speak to me again through His Word, that I couldn’t physically open the Bible. I would hold it to my heart and cry…. so desperately wanting His speaking in my life, but so afraid He wouldn’t. After several years He opened the way for me to read His words again.

I learned a lot about myself and people through that experience, especially that I need to listen to the Lord first, and sometimes only. He has a good plan for my life. The plan for my life in the group was to submit, unquestioningly obey authority, mandatory head coverings, call each other Brother and Sister, attend every meeting and whatever else the leadership might give as the only direction my life could go. Our humanity was not acknowledged or encouraged. There was no exploration of the gifts God had given to each of us, no further education, and even a squelching of that. We worked, gave our money to the group (leader) and had a small world view. We literally threw away all evidence of our past and lived simply, as we moved from one location to another. After I left, it took years to sort things out, as I had been so warped by my experience. I’ve never read a book on cults, but I believe what I was in was a religious personality cult, which spiritually boils down to a person with a controlling spirit.

Fast forward a few decades and I am now married, and we have a history of volunteering for organizations, GFA being one of them. After donating 3+ months over a two year period to GFA, we were asked about coming on staff. We had never considered that, but it seemed right, and we set about raising support. Six months later we moved cross country and were living in a one bedroom Autumn Chase apartment, having left a small house we built with our own 4 hands, a couple of businesses and selling 75% of our worldly goods. Within the first year, I recognized the familiar clamping down on people’s humanity, the controlling spirit, the fear of leadership, doing the wrong thing, and the shunning of people who one day were your commended co-workers and the next were condemned out the door. There were too many parallels with my previous experience, which the Lord Himself told me was a cult. I wanted out. I continued to feel trapped, until my husband also experienced enough inconsistencies between what was being said and what was being practiced, and how micro-managed things were, that we made plans to leave.

I consider the present GFA to be a cult and continually becoming more cultish. It seems to be moving away from God’s plan for us to serve others, and seems to be more and more self-serving, honoring a person above his Creator. The Bible calls this idolatry. I do not believe GFA started that way but evolved to become a cult, just like my previous experience. I am not proud to have been part of two cults in my life, but I continue to believe God is at work outside all human institutions and miraculously continues to bring good out of evil for each of His children. The common people I worked and prayed with at GFA are a very special group, presently some of my closest friends. I am grateful for this. May God be pleased to bring about the changes we all need to usher in His kingdom.

Testimony of Gene

USA 2004-2006

My experience is nowhere as heart-wrenching as some people. I enjoyed the perfect position for me at GFA (Building & Grounds Maintenance) and had a great relationship with my supervisor. I did not sense the politics and control that most were under in the building. There were some concerns, but I overlooked them. All organizations have things to be concerned with, and organizations are made up of sinful people.

One day a certain person was fired and blacklisted for “having a bad day”. Through that experience, I saw that KP controls everything. A personal example of that is that my supervisor and his supervisor (David C.) were not allowed to put up an awning on the north side of the building without KP’s approval on size, shape, color, etc. It was at least 6 months before it could be ordered. Meanwhile, staff had to stand in the rain to use their fobs and the north rains would soak the hall carpet.

Fast forward: The Lord kept me awake one night about being part of a grassroots start-up ministry that could get small churches involved in missions, so I ended up joining another ministry.

We did not give our notice right away for a few reasons:

1. We still had flex dollars to use.

2. We had extra dollars in our account because we were fully supported. We knew what had happened to others who had money in their accounts, and our supporters had not given money to the GFA general fund, but to us.

3. Mary had eye surgery scheduled that the flex was to be used for.

4. There was an unwritten agreement that we would stay at least two years.

So for the last 5 weeks before leaving, we took care of the above four items along with getting all our personal tools out of the building. You see, 90% of the tools used in the maintenance department at that time were ours and you pretty much have to leave on the spot when terminated.

I always say that God led me out of GFA. During those last 5 weeks, I found out that funds were not being used as designated. So out of principle, I would’ve had to leave anyway.

While at GFA we gave to some of the monthly appeals. Since GFA was no longer putting the dollar amount raised for appeals on the prayer sheets (I know why now), I went to gift entry and asked about how much was raised for wells and bicycles, as we had given to them. I learned that $500K and $600K were raised on the last appeals. I thought that was a lot, so I went back to my desk and did some math. Well, all GFA missionaries should have a bicycle. Good! The next day, the new SEND! magazine came out. The cover article was several missionaries riding on one bicycle. “We need more dollars for bicycles.”

We’ve all heard that Indians (and most others) don’t value free items, so they are charged a few rupees for a Bible, etc. I’ve been told that GFA India did not give a bicycle for free either. The missionaries had to pay for a portion of the bike. So that meant even more dollars available for bike distribution. Where did all that money go?

I had lunch with our mentor about where we were going and about the bicycle fund-raising issue. He seemed to be fine with what I said. When he got back to the office, he was asked by Dave C. who he had lunch with and what we talked about. That’s when we became a threat to the ministry and were not allowed to work out our month’s notice.

Vocationally GFA was a good fit for me. Unfortunately it seems KP has strayed from the original message of the B1 to building KP’s kingdom. Hopefully KP will return to building God’s kingdom and loving the staff that are helping to accomplish that goal.

Testimony of Danielle

In 2006, I graduated from university and was searching out God’s calling in my life. I had been praying over several ministries and it was there I found GFA. I applied as a Road to Reality intern and kept my heart open telling God, ‘Wherever you want me to go, I will go.” I wanted to dedicate my life to Him in whatever capacity He called me to. God had opened the door for me to be at GFA and I had peace about His leading. I dedicated my year in 2007 as a R2R intern. It was a very tough year where I had to learn submission like I’ve never learned before. My housemates and our house leader struggled often as we tried to reconcile what having some independence looked like. DC often reminded us in our intern meetings that we were only dedicating 1 year of ministry for Him to use us and be shaped by Him. Eventually, we learned to just swallow things and remind each other, “It’s just for a year.” Our first 6 weeks were non-stop going in ministry activities. When it finally slowed and I felt I could catch my breath, I decided I wanted to find a temporary year home church. One of the other girls in another house warned me though that it wasn’t a good idea. She said she brought it before leadership wanting to join choir at one of the churches and was instructed by DC that it would distract us from our year calling. My housemates and I tried to find a church at first but since we often were told that GFA was our church, we didn’t attend any church regularly. This was a weird thing for me, but I just basically brushed it aside and thought, “Well, I guess for a year it’s alright.” There were other times during the year that struck me as weird. For example, when my housemates all were gone for a weekend and I was going to be home alone. I was actually excited so that I could have some downtime to myself and spend some guitar time without feeling like I would interrupt anyone. I felt sometimes ministry was so busy that I fought for that quiet time with the Lord. But, as the weekend approached, my house leader indicated that they didn’t “feel good about me being on my own.” So they had one of the staff members stay with me. I was initially really upset because I genuinely wanted to ask them, “What do you think I’m going to do? Honestly? I chose to dedicate this year…plus I don’t even have a car – and I hate driving!!” But I didn’t want to be rebellious so I just left it alone. When the year ended, I really had no desire to return. I had been encouraged by various staff along with my house leader that I had grown very much and I had demonstrated a desire to seek God in submission. I didn’t want to be pressured and so I told them that I really wanted to seek out God’s heart for me. When I returned home I really fasted and prayed for God’s direction in my life. I knew my heart was only to do the will of God whatever it was.

It was at that time that Danny P. had contacted me (which was strange for me because he was in India when I was an intern so I had no real connection with him) and had told me the Lord had put me on his heart to consider joining staff. I told him I was seeking out God and His direction in my life. I really didn’t want to join staff (I told God that) but as I continued to fast about it, I believe God showed Himself to me that I was to join the Canada office. My parents were uneasy about the whole thing and were concerned about my decision. But eventually they supported me in my decision and helped me support raise. I had raised my funds quickly and was able to move out to Stoney Creek in the fall of 2008. I was excited and had gotten to know the staff members there. My mentor invited me to live with her when I moved out. Things seemed the same except smaller than the GFA USA office that I had been in. Everyone’s heart seemed so genuine to follow God’s calling and I knew this was a gift from God. It was at that time that a new leader was also placed in the Canada office. I hadn’t honestly thought anything of it, but over time I saw the impact it had on so many in the office. Another sister, AR, had begun ministry life the same time I did and we were excited to learn, grow and do God’s work. When we had weekly clean-ups at the office, AR and I sometimes would be paired together and we share what God was teaching us as a ‘newbie’ in the office. She asked me if I wanted to have Bible studies with her more on a weekly basis and I was thrilled! I unfortunately shared this with my mentor and I think this got AR to be disciplined. I was pulled aside from Pat E. who asked me if it was true that she had asked me this and being the naive person that I am, told him the truth and how excited we were. We were still thinking of what book of the Bible to study. AR wasn’t also just thinking of me, she wanted to open it up to other sisters in the ministry. I thought it was great! To my shock though, Pat E. said to me, “That isn’t right. You have a mentor for that reason. You both started the same time and you both need to learn and grow. You should be seeking your mentor out who is more mature in faith.” I was a bit taken aback because I wondered, “She’s walked with God a lot longer it seems that I have…she’s also been alive a lot longer…what’s the harm in that?” Then the next day she came to me with tears in her eyes apologizing for her decision and that it wasn’t meant to be a ‘rebellious’ idea. I hugged her and told her I took no offense whatsoever! In fact, I was excited to hear what the Lord had been teaching her! Sadly, we eventually learned to keep our distance in the office for fear of talk that we were trying to start some kind of rebellion by wanting to do Bible Studies!

At the same time (or around then) DB and their family were leaving the ministry. When I think of it now, they were the only family in my time there, that were present for their exit gathering. Even though they were present though, it seemed strange that they didn’t share directly with the small staff where God was calling them to – Pat E. did that. He informed us that God called them to another work in the vineyard but to hug them and pray for them. Although saddened I didn’t think much more of it. I also by that time had moved to my own little apartment and with the help of those in the ministry, had begun to settle in. This was also better for my relationship between my mentor and I, as I found that she needed to have control over some of the work in the office. So it was a good breather because then I could be at home and more myself. But, I was encouraged by leadership to give her a spare key to my apartment if anything should happen to me. Again, naive me thought, ok. I never thought that she would use it without my permission. But there were a few times I was uneasy that she had a key, because sometimes she’d just come in unannounced while I was in the shower. I told her that I didn’t appreciate that and if she wanted to come over, just to let me know. As I got to know Stoney Creek a little better in my down time, my heart ached when I saw people in the downtown core suffering. I realized that I had been very shielded from a world that was really hurting. I remember one time the SB and CB shared with me that they had met people in downtown Hamilton who have never heard who Jesus was. I was so saddened by this! I thought to myself one night that Christmas was coming around the corner. Why not go out and bless people as a ministry activity. I brought the idea up to PE and he said he would think about it. He said, although it was a good idea, we didn’t want other causes to distract us. I shared with him that this could also be a team building activity for us in the office. He said he’d think about and get back to me. He never did and when I tried once more to bring it up to him, he said it wouldn’t work and to continue on in what I was called to do.

When the New Year rolled around, one of the ladies taking care of finances, I believe, had decided to also leave the ministry. I unfortunately couldn’t be present during that exit gathering as I was with family. My sister came to visit and had encouraged me to find a home church again. When she left, I decided that it was a good idea. With new resolve I thought I would get settled into a home church and start serving. Another sister and I started to attend a Bible Study together at a local church. I started to get to know some people there especially the seniors (I have a special place in my heart for seniors!). But I became hit and miss as the year wore on because I’d be attending over the weekend more functions and booths with my mentor. And when I was in town and went to a Bible study, I was again reminded that my call was special and that the churches don’t understand that calling we have on our lives (as Danny P. would often message that to me wondering what the Lord was teaching me…especially during the weekends). He often told me, “GFA is your church…and your family.” So, I became sporadic again. I wanted to serve, but I felt I couldn’t be dedicated. I began working in the office more frequently even on weekends, and kept reminding myself that my joy would come from doing God’s work even if I didn’t feel like it and felt more and more isolated.

One day, I don’t even know how it came up, but I shared with SB some things I was concerned about. We didn’t discuss too much at the office. Rather, instead, he had invited me over to chat with him and his wife about it. When I did, they openly shared their struggles with me and reminded me to be watchful and pray what the Lord may be doing in my heart. It was at that time I started to be in more contact with SB as well. She was so kind and prayerful, encouraging me to seek the Lord also in what I was going through. I began to pray and seek God’s wisdom as to what they meant. They were very cautious to share too much with me, but they were also open in telling me that my concerns shouldn’t be dismissed and I should seek out Scripture. As I continued to serve in the ministry, I began to see more red flags. SB was a good reminder to be careful of what I shared, and I began to realize that I shouldn’t be so open. As I just began to be more prayerful and watchful, it was announced at the office that someone no longer was in the ministry. I was shocked to find out SB was not present and was no longer in the office. I was deeply troubled by this and all that Pat E. said. He had indicated to all the staff that their family had some struggles and we needed to give them some breathing room. I don’t remember the full on conversation, but I remember enough that the message was clear to be very careful of our association because it can take us out from the calling God has put on our lives. We were to be soldiers going to battle and if we didn’t die to those emotions then we’d be too weak to serve in God’s kingdom (that sort of thing…obviously not verbatim). I was confused, sad and upset. SB and his family had become dear to my heart! How could I just leave them? It was then I shared with another brother in the ministry who was close to SB how he was through it all. He was enraged as well and said he wouldn’t stop having fellowship with them. So I decided, I too wasn’t going to stop either. After office hours, I’d ask to meet up with them and ask them what really happened. I guess I’m a firm believer that if there’s anything you question, go to the source to find your truth. So I went to them to find out exactly why they left and how I could be a support to them. It was then I realized DB and his family and CH were supporting them too. They all began to share their concerns with me (and for that I’m forever grateful). None of them ever told me to leave the ministry, rather they constantly encouraged me to pray and seek God’s heart. Because I knew their stories, I just couldn’t reconcile them. But then I thought, what does that mean for me? I began to really struggle being in the office. I fasted and prayed that God would show me what is really right and what is Truth. I tried to bring up to leadership that I didn’t believe it was right to obey without question, how we should be involved in churches and that since we had so many people leaving we should go and bless them somehow. My mentor began to get very concerned about me. She never said anything but immediately went to leadership. PE came to me more frequently reminding me of my call. He also told me that he didn’t like the fact that I was living in an apartment on my own and that since there was a plan to start a SOD in Canada, they were considering me to be a potential house leader. But I had to keep my eyes focused on what I was called to do.

I began to feel high anxiety not knowing what to do. I continued to meet with those who had left the ministry but it was then I also began to notice that my mentor was keeping tabs on me (at least at that time it certainly felt so). My mentor used to go to bed super early (at like 8:30pm or so) but when I continued to have fellowship with those who had left I’d stop off at the supermarket just to somehow ‘protect’ myself from being seen with ex-staff. There would be times I’d find her at the supermarket too and she’d somehow ‘bump’ into me wondering what I was picking up. Sometimes I’d be at the store even as late as 9:30pm and she’d be there with another staff member. I began to feel paranoid that she was following me. She’d question me a lot more during the day at the office about my night, what I was up to etc. So I began to strategize how I’d still have my fellowship times while not being followed. I felt so watched by people in the ministry and I felt very confused who I could trust and who I couldn’t. Danny P., SW, BW etc. would check on me regularly and I had a hard time deciphering who was genuine and who wasn’t. I just knew I didn’t want anything to get back to leadership. Eventually, it wasn’t until I tried to donate blood that the lady took my blood pressure and said it was extremely high. She indicated that I needed to go to the hospital. I checked myself in and the doctor said that my stress level was likely causing my blood pressure to spike.

I began to realize I was at a crossroads. I either had to choose to be blind to what ex-staff said and cut ties or I had to cut ties with GFA because I felt there was no other way. I was in turmoil and didn’t know what to do because I know the Lord led me to GFA. I decided to take a trip home and there I shared my concerns with my family. It was then I made up my mind that the Lord would have to call me out of the ministry. He revealed things to me that I really believe were not of Him. I visited the GFA USA office one last time, in hopes to share my concerns with staff members close to my heart.

When I returned to the office, I decided to say nothing to anyone. I begged the Lord to help me out if this was His will for me. The final exit made things really clear for me. GP had left the ministry suddenly as well, and his exit interview resembled much like SB’s. It was the same talk to be careful of our association, be a good soldier etc.

I slowly began to pack up my belongings in my desk, telling no one as I believe God was planning my escape and I needed to be ready. When I finally cleared most things, I sent in my resignation letter. I had a 2 hour long meeting with ML discussing Biblical Truths. We fought scripture with scripture and eventually I was told that I was young in faith and was leaving a calling God had placed on my life. My heart hurt so much as this was never my intention. That night, I stayed late at the office until everyone left. I cleared the remainder of things off my desk. When I looked back at the office I felt God had spoken to my heart telling me, “This is the last day you will step foot in the office.” I prayed and cried as I looked back one last time and never looked back. I felt completely lost and confused. That evening, I kept getting calls (at 10 & 11pm) wondering what was going on with me as my mentor went back to the office that night (I’m guessing to check up on me…but that’s speculation) and noticed my desk cleared. I lived in such fear and paranoia. I think because that became the GFA culture too…when they talk of dying…I really do think there is a part of you that dies. I had lived in such irrational fear for a few months especially feelings of being followed and then being disciplined (as I had witnessed many ex-staff face, that I just didn’t know how to stand up to that. Plus, I thought my mentor would come in since she had done so in the past. As ridiculous as it was…I even put a chair to my door so no one would come in! I think now at how silly I must’ve looked but at the time, I was so terrified. Thankfully, I talked to CH who reminded me they couldn’t do anything to me. She took me in the following night and I stayed with her. Eventually I flew back home and told my parents what happened. My blood pressure went back to normal while at home with my parents. In the fall of 2009, I moved back home. I still am healing from this.

It was with great sadness all this happened. I believe that no matter how great the work of the Lord is, if it isn’t done in the heart that He has, it has no meaning. God has shown me that He gave us two commandments (which sums up the law and the Prophets). Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. The second is similar, Love your neighbor as yourself. If we cannot love our neighbor, our efforts are in vain.

Testimony of Larry

There is a lot I could say, but what is apparent is that GFA from the first was not honest with donors about the nature of its ministry. I was a party to this, so I also need to repent of my actions and lack of actions when faced with this situation.

In the 1980s, GFA supported already established ministries in Asia. The problem was that while the supported ministries were Pentecostal in nature, GFA’s basis of support then was among conservative Baptists, who were opposed to Pentecostalism. So any reference to the nature of the ministries being supported was deleted from the news stories, photos, etc., because to be honest about who we were supporting would have resulted in fewer donations.

Some 30 years later, GFA had established its own Church in India, and KP, who was originally ordained a Baptist minister, had long-since rejected Baptist teachings and reverted to the Asian/Episcopal structure of his childhood. Once again, GFA was hiding the nature of its church on the field from its supporters, who are largely Calvary Chapel, Mennonite and Baptist — none of whom support the Episcopal structure. This was evident when we cropped pictures of Believers’ Church pastors so their robes wouldn’t show, and try to crop out photos that showed KP as a bishop. Again, the reason for the “editing” was the same: it would hurt income if the donors knew who we really were.

For a ministry that has publicly struggled with using “the methods of the world,” I can think of nothing more “worldly” than manipulating your communications to maximize income at the expense of truth.

The cult-like emphasis on authority is a total perversion of the freedom that is promised in Christ. It reached a crisis point for me when, in a leadership meeting, I questioned a point in KP’s “authority” book and was told later that “our role is not to question Brother KP, it is to follow his orders.”

So I left GFA with very mixed emotions. There was no question it was time for me to retire, as I was killing myself with the long hours and commutes, but what pushed me over the edge was the emphasis on authority and other cult-like tendencies.

Testimony of Cassie

There had been many issues involving Gospel for Asia that I gradually became uncomfortable with, and those are outlined in the enclosed letter so I will not expound on them here.

I was serving overseas in the GFA New Zealand office when I realized I could no longer ignore the warning signs that had been ever increasing. It was not until I was instructed that I would be staying overseas longer than my initial assignment that I came face to face with some problems I had become aware of, but not experienced personally.

When I say I was “instructed,” I mean it was announced to me that I would stay overseas. For a young, single woman, that is a substantial demand. When I asked questions to ascertain the details of this significant change, I was rebuffed, and my commitment to GFA (and even ministry in general) was called into question. Not only that, but I was specifically told that Gospel for Asia leadership did not expect me to pray, and even more than that, did not want me to pray, about whether or not this was God’s will for my life.

For a ministry that touts its dependence on prayer, this was absolutely shocking. All of my life, I have grown up in the church; my father is a pastor, I graduated from Bible college and have served in various ministry roles before coming to Gospel for Asia. The Bible has many teachings on prayer that I could quote, but I believe 1 Thess. 5:17 is pretty clear: “Pray continually.” There are also numerous Scriptures on testing what people say to make sure that it is sound teaching. Paul even states in 1 Corinthians 10:15, “I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say.” If we are to judge even an apostle for ourselves, and also to pray continually, then I see no Scriptural basis for any Gospel for Asia leader to ever tell any person, regardless of the situation, that they “are not asking them to pray.” Questioning Gospel for Asia is in no way tantamount to questioning God, but somehow it has become one and the same.

Testimony of Christine

Our Family’s Story

For me, Christine, my whole life has been spent in legalism and spiritual abuse. But I wasn’t aware of the extent of it or even the depth of the damage to my heart until about two years ago. By then we had been GFA staff for six years.

There is no doubt in our minds that God called us to GFA. It was part of our journey towards grace. And in spite of all the pain it has taken to get where we are….if this was God’s will for us…we wouldn’t have it any other way.

My Grandfather was my father figure. An abusive, “Christian” man who had us live by a “list a mile long” and in order to be accepted and “loved” you played by his rules. When I married at 18, he cut fellowship with me. I wasn’t playing the game right. Round one of rejection.

My, Geoff, (a God-send) was a Gospel Haller. I became one too. And here I entered into my second 18 years of trying to live up to the standards of another very legalistic group of people. I was considered an outsider at first since I didn’t grow up in the Gospel Hall. But I am a friendly person by nature and I worked real hard to fit in and be accepted, and since my childhood rules had been similar (and even stricter) I was able to adapt and before long was “loved” by all. Well, I thought it was love….until we felt God calling us into missions. The church agreed that we were called….but when we specifically felt it was a calling to GFA…..they wouldn’t have it, or us. GFA wasn’t part of them, they would have no part of us. We were shunned for the second time.

To this day I am not sure why God choose GFA as the way out of the closed, restricted circle of the Gospel Hall. Maybe the ‘Three Strikes You’re OUT!”

We no sooner arrived then the Canadian office went through an upheaval. Over half of the staff left. We were stunned! But consoled ourselves with the verse “For such a time as this”. God must have brought us here to help get everyone through this rough patch.

Our first two years weren’t quite up, when I realized I was in the same set-up as I had been in my previous two “rounds”. We were expected to “play the game, submit, not ask questions, forget about our talents, smile and nod, say “Yes, Sir!, No Sir!”, when asked to jump ask, “How high?”

I would sit through the ministry portion of the prayer meetings and listen horrified Tuesday night after Tuesday night as scripture was taken out of context or stretched to fit the message which was usually Submit. Don’t look for or want rest. Soldiers don’t rest. Don’t fellowship outside of the GFA staff. Focus on your calling …which really meant do what we tell you to do. Read this. Listen to that. Do this. Be here. Rules. Lists of rules. And all of it wrapped up with Bible verses.

I would often rant to Geoff about all the scripture stretching and the control and manipulation I was hearing…didn’t he notice? Not usually. How could he not? He confessed to me…..he has a special mechanism….he can turn off his “listening device”. Since he found the messages difficult to follow or irrelevant to him, he wouldn’t listen. AGH! Why couldn’t I do that?!

But every time we would end it all by saying…”Did God call us here?” Yes. “Would leadership be perfect any where else? ” No. “Would we be perfect leaders?” No. So we kept hanging on.

By year four I was pretty sure I couldn’t take it any more. Not only did the leadership have control issues , we were being told that we could not fellowship with the staff as they were leaving. (It seemed staff were often leaving and the reasons very often vague.) I realized that we were with yet ANOTHER group that would “spit us out” when they were done with us. It was inevitable….we were going to be rejected again.

I wanted out and told Geoff as much. But Geoff is a faithful worker. A Rock. Not easily shaken. (I married him for that reason.) He couldn’t leave the ministry in the lurch. If we were to go he said I needed to pray for someone to replace him. I tried to pray for that. I couldn’t. For four more years I couldn’t pray for a replacement. I thought maybe it was the Lord stopping me and that it wasn’t His will ….but near the end I realized that I couldn’t ask for another person/family to be brought into this spiritually abusive environment.

But the rejection of the past, the threat of another shunning. The rules that I couldn’t follow wholeheartedly. The demands on my family and our time. The required meetings. etc etc etc (even the guilt I was feeling about writing a “Spirit-led” email that encouraged others to join staff and now here they were hopefully not suffering as much as I was)….it was taking it’s toll on me.

My health finally gave way. I thought it was a physical problem. Went to the doctor’s expecting a pill would solve it all. The blood work came back. I was a healthy as a horse. Hum. But I have so much wrong with me? The Doctor asked…..”Could it be stress?” I knew the answer to that.

Geoff and I prayed about it. It was a hard decision to make. We did so want our lives to count for eternity. I did so love many of the staff. But GFA is an all or nothing place. I couldn’t take some and leave some. Would Geoff lose his job if his wife “quit”? It was very likely. And we were sure if they could have done without Geoff …..they would have let him go. As it was, he shouldered a lot…he had some job security for awhile.

The week we put together and sent my letter…..”I’m taking a break because of my health, that the similarities of GFA too closely resembled my past and I couldn’t take it any more” most of my physical symptoms went away!

The staff were told that I requested to be left alone. Of, course I did not request that!! GFA had been my sole “family” for the last seven years. The rejection was no surprise, but it still hurt. Of course, everyone was friendly and greeted me when they did see me….but I knew for some I was seen as someone who was no longer following her calling. The rest were probably full of questions, but the thing about living and working in that type of environment….you don’t ask questions and you often feel like you are alone with your concerns.

Honestly I am not sure how all the rest came down. We limped along for another year. I think I was pretty broken. I went from being able to pull off a meal for a crowd to not being sure what to feed my family of five. Cried almost every day. I thought I was going crazy. Doctor, pastor and therapist all said I wasn’t. But I was so damaged by the 43 years of legalism and consequent rejection that I wasn’t doing so well.

Guess Geoff started to take note. He said one day, “It’s time for me to look for a surveyor job again”.

When he spotted one posted in Barrie (a few hours north of Hamilton), he prayed about it for a few days. Applied on-line after a Tuesday night prayer meeting. Had the job Saturday. Gave a three week notice . (They took only two.) Put our house on the market, it sold in a week. God was making it very clear. He was moving us on.

Our exit wasn’t as bad as others. I am pretty sure leadership was happy to see us go. We were setting a bad-example. Plus, we hadn’t tried too hard to explain ourselves, or attempt to make changes. We weren’t strangers to the “Pharisee game”. Just bow out and go as quietly as possible.

Here we are four months later. I still cry almost everyday. But slowly I am feeling less broken. God has brought us to a place of resting for awhile. Our winter was one of almost complete seclusion. I fought it at first, but God wanted to tell me some things.

I had always taken my identity from what others thought of me, how well was I adding up to the present list, my worth was always tied into my ability to “do”. Now I’m learning the “am’s” part.

I AM worthy because of Christ. I AM cherished. I AM wanted. I AM secure. I AM loved. I AM gifted and God has a plan for me.

I AM a child of a gracious God.

Yes, healing requires a lot of tears. But more of the days, I cry because I am so loved and less of the days it’s about being broken because of rejection and disappointment.

Is GFA all bad? No, of course not! Is God using GFA? Yes, He’s good that way. He manages to use all of us, flawed like we are.

It is my prayer and hope that each of us, ex-staff and current staff alike would have as our foremost desire…to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and soul. And to love our neighbours (and brothers and sisters) as much as we love ourselves.

And I yearn for eternity when all this…the past, the present and the muddle of all of us trying to serve God will be put to rights and complete and loving fellowship will be enjoyed by us all.

Much love and God’s blessings,

Christine (on behalf of us both)

Testimony of Matt and Jenna

We were very disturbed and discouraged after a prayer meeting in which staff were told by K.P. that leadership was considering sending certain staff overseas to work in various international offices. The reason for our dismay was that K.P. specifically stated that if they told us they wanted us to serve overseas and we asked to have time to pray about it, we would be sinning because we were not submitting to them unquestioningly as our authority. There was also an implied threat that if we didn’t obey without question then we would be asked to leave the ministry. This specific incident is a prime example of the pervasive environment at GFA where staff are conditioned to believe that leadership is much more qualified to hear from God and discern His will for the staff than the staff themselves are. The core issue here is that the GFA leadership, in a man-made, rule-based attempt to “protect” the ministry, has far overstepped their bounds in what authority they should have over the lives of the staff; examples being where to live, who to associate with, church involvement, etc.

Testimony of Lenny and Tiffany

USA 2006-2010

Dear board members and leadership of GFA,

As I begin to write this I realize that I am standing before my Maker and King who requires from me honesty and truth. It is my heart felt conviction that I represent my family and their experiences at GFA not as a weapon of destruction, but as a mirror of self-evaluation that aides in the refining fire of Christ’s ongoing molding us into His image. In order to be brief I will try and summarize just a few key times that we took pause and recognized what we were experiencing at GFA was in direct opposition to how God, in His Word, calls His children to treat one another.

Looking back the most prevailing contradiction we saw played out was a spirit of fear. It was drilled into our heads that we need to be so cautious of being manipulated by others outside of the ministry, that everyone we came in contact with, family and people from our churches we need to look at as potential distractions from our “call.” Especially if they did not understand, agree or even challenged us on our “call.”

This became so very obvious to my wife and I when after three years at the ministry her walk had become so empty and her spirit had become so down from all her health problems that she reached an all time low and was feeling spiritually empty. I challenged her to look for a Kay Arthur Precepts Bible study like she went to when we were back home. They always were so spiritually invigorating for her. She would always come home with tons of notes and stories to tell me about how God spoke to her.

So after several months of my prodding she finally found one close to our home at Prestonwood Baptist Church. In my excitement I shared this new news with a women married to one of the leaders. I thought she would be very excited for my wife, only to find myself called into the office of David C. several hours later. He challenged me to not let her go the Bible study because she will be surrounding herself with women of affluence that would open up the opportunity for her to covet their lifestyle and then come home and lure me away from my “call” at the ministry. Even tough I explained all the benefits for her to him, he said he has seen this happen before and recommended that if my wife has this “free time” that it would be better spent helping the single women who serve in the office with meals or doing their laundry.

On a side note, my wife had been doing KP’s secretaries laundry for many months without their prompting. In my “blind” desire to “submit to my authority” I went home to inform my wife of this. My wife broke down like I had never seen her. Her spirit went from hope to even more hopelessness; her strongest point of contention was “who was the head of our household, GFA or me.” It became very clear to us both that it had become GFA. This placed a wedge in our relationship that took years to heal.

I remember back in October of 2010, several meetings being held talking about finances and circumstances with people in the ministry. This caused John B., at a separate meeting, to speak to staff because he wanted to squelch any rumors flying around that some staff might be getting laid off. I also remember a meeting several days later where KP spoke very vehemently about several staff members who they had conversations regarding their dissatisfaction with areas of the ministry. He even made the statement, “You know who you are!” I was taken back by KP’s comparison to Judas in his description of these individuals. I remember going home and telling my wife, “Someone is in really big trouble!” This was on a Friday.

On Monday morning I was called into David C.’s office. David informed me that we were being let go. We were one of just two families that were fired. KP was referring to us? I was dumbfounded. Neither of us had ever spoken to leadership or anyone up to that point, about anything we were feeling. David said the reason we were being released is that we were not fully supported. So what’s the truth? Many other families and singles were not even close to being fully supported. I knew of some who were a lot more deficient in their monthly support than we were, so why us?

David told me I had to clean out my desk and leave in the next three hours. I was in shock! What did I do? I was being treated like someone who had just committed a crime and was being asked to leave immediately. In order to come to GFA we sold our home and left our families, friends, my job as a public school art teacher, my ministry as children’s ministry coordinator at our church, I even cashed in my retirement loosing 70% of it to come to serve at GFA. I was told that staff was considered “family”. I was told it was my “calling for life”. I was prepared and willing to spend the rest of my life at GFA. What had gone wrong? Does the leadership not hear correctly from the Lord when they ask us to come on staff? Are we that expendable? I asked David if I had done something wrong and he said “no, not at all.” He was practically in tears, seemingly broken over this.

The day we were let go was my oldest daughter’s 17th birthday and the following day my wife was going in for her second major back surgery. David said he knew these facts, and seemed very broken up because he had to do this to us. That very morning before my meeting with David, God in His grace, had prepared my heart that no matter what I faced I should not fear and I sensed a peace from God had come over me. Out of this peace from God I was able to respond to this scary and life altering event with kindness and grace comforting David, with a peace that was not my own. Not that this justifies the ministries mistreatments and ungodly actions, but it allowed me to leave the ministry the way I felt Christ would do.

I recall asking David C. if they were still going to provide meals for us when my wife was released from the hospital. He responded with a very emphatic “Why, I don’t see why not!” I received an email from him the next day while in my wife’s hospital room informing me that after further evaluation the ministry was so very busy at the moment that they would not have the time to help us out with meals. It was then my wife, just out of surgery and in tears, reminded me of a time where she was told by a leaders wife not to give a meal to a women and her family who was having surgery because she was not on staff anymore. She was told that we needed to focus on the needs of staff only. Thus the shunning begins. Immediately, the severing of close relationships was evident. People did not call to see how we were, did not help when they had previously offered to, and simply acted as if we had fallen off the face of the earth. Since we were no longer “on staff” we were considered a distraction to the greater good, “The lost.” If not for the Christ-likeness of individuals at our church who, out of their abundance, displayed love and care for us by ministering to us both financially and spiritually, we would have been ruined!

When a ministry becomes so big that honesty, integrity, love, family and Christ-likeness are just talking points rather than actions I think that ministry needs to do some soul searching and re-evaluate who is the head of the that ministry, man or God. God does not run his church and ministries on fear, but on love and trusting that whatever we go through in life what matters most is our love for Him and our brothers and sister in the lord.

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 Corinthians 13:1-7 ESV

It is my hope and prayer that this overview of events is not seen as an attack, but a heartfelt appeal to the hearts and minds of loving servants who may have inadvertently lost sight of the fact that they are responsible for their actions. I forgive GFA for these events, but feel it is important to point them out so as to give the opportunity for repentance and healing. It also is helpful since my wife and I were never offered the opportunity to have an exit interview.