GFA leadership teaches (or strongly implies) that your calling in ministry profession is more important than your calling to lead your family well. At GFA there’s a strong teaching that if your family or spouse is having issues, you should “give those to the Lord” or send the spouse to talk to someone on a pre- approved list of staff that are “safe” to talk to (meaning they’ll coach them to just “stay in the battle”.) You’re instructed to not let that get in the way of your ministry, as opposed to dealing with your family issues first and foremost so that you can be effective in ministry and honor the Lord. This was made evident through many teachings, including frequent uplifting of men in history who left their wives or deserted their families for ministry, as well as the counsel some staff received regarding their spouses. Participation in any outside Bible studies and even within staff has usually been prohibited, making it difficult for staff to work through or recognize they’re not alone in these issues.
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- So important is taking care of one’s family to God, that Paul says a man is disqualified from the work of the ministry if his family is not in good order: “If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” “Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.” (1 Tim. 3)
- Many men, upon hearing GFA’s constant teachings to give up everything to serve God (usually implied as working at the office, even though caring for family at home is also serving God), have ignored their wives’ requests for help and assumed they’re just not spiritual enough and need to learn to endure this needless suffering. But God instructs men to “love their wives as their own bodies.” (Eph 5:28) A man with a wife who is ailing spiritually or is separated from him emotionally has a sick marriage in need of attention, and never has any excuse to leave her or delay in doing whatever it takes to repair his marriage.
- Biblically speaking, we are free to change our vocation as we feel led, but a husband’s call is always first and foremost to his wife and family. GFA leaders may agree to this point but in practice they seem to have it reversed. GFA leaders often point to the verse about being willing to forsake all, even family, to follow Jesus, but this verse refers to our faithfulness to Jesus even amidst persecution from our own family, not faithfulness to a certain organization, church or vocation at the expense of one’s own wife and children.
- GFA emphasizes certain Scriptures that speak of forsaking all to follow Jesus. These are true and good, and we affirm them. But GFA almost entirely ignores any Scriptures that speak of the responsibility we have to our families. From Scripture, I do not know it is God’s will that I work 50 hours a week at GFA, but I do know I need to lay down my life for my wife and raise godly children. To emphasize one truth while neglecting the other is a false teaching. (We would also say it is a false teaching to focus on your own family and neglect the Great Commission.) We need to deal honestly with all the Scriptures, not pick and choose the ones which most benefit us.